It's been a while since I visited you here but I swear it's been really busy on my end. So, so, busy. And well I haven't got much to say at the moment. See, I've been suffering from a well-known ailment. Writer's Block. I've heard there's no such thing as writer's block, but when you have it sometimes it doesn't matter if it doesn't really exist. Writer's Block is the bane of any writer's existence. You sit down in front of the keyboard or the piece of paper, fingers poised or pencil ready, and the emptiness mocks you. The words won't come. And I'm not a fan of forcing them if they don't want to come out and play because they can get resentful about it. And then you, the reader, suffers right along with a stilted storyline.
Why do we get writer's block? I think it's different for everyone but for me its about letting life and reality get in the way. I'm a planner in a lot of ways, I like to plan as far ahead as possible at any given time. And when things don't go according to plan I get rattled, stressed, and just plain ole cranky. That state of mind is not conducive to good soul-searching story-telling. I also tend to be... well...obsessive. Once I set my mind on something it can be hard to make it turn away.
What's been going on in my life that's killing the urge to write? Hmmm....so many things.... Let's start with something simple. New life. I'm going to be an aunt very soon. And I let myself get swept up in the excitement. I started making a baby blanket, crochet of course. And as soon as I finished it, I started on a second one for a cousin that's due shortly after. Both baby girls. If you've ever crocheted you know that's impossible to do so well and type at the same time. Secondly my photography business is BOOMING! Wow! A little unexpected but much appreciated. Over the past few months I've done 4 weddings, 2 boudoir, an engagement, bunny day, a family reunion, a newborn, and more than a couple of kid/family sessions as well as setting up at my first expo. It's been insane because even though my clients probably only see me for a few hours, there's a lot of extra time spent editing in front of the computer, uploading to galleries, and ordering prints. But wait there's more! I've also taken on babysitting my two godsons. Cause when your best friend calls you bawling its hard to say no. One just turned 5 yesterday and he is a handful especially when you pair him up with his now 6 month old baby brother. I've been watching them three times a week for 9 hour days. When they leave I'm exhausted. I just want to eat, take a nap, and hope the headache goes away. Kuddos to all you stay at home moms with two or more kids at home. Whoever says you don't work, doesn't know what they're talking about. Then there's planning the front deck/porch. The one that was attached when we bought the place is bowed horribly in the middle and I have to admit it shames me whenever someone comes over, especially a client. I mean to me it just looks trashy. There's more going on but I think you get the picture.
There's a light at the end of every tunnel and I think I can see a glimmer of mine. I think the urge to write is going to come soaring back in soon. The signs are all there. What you don't know the signs? Well let me enlighten you to mine. I start having a memorable dream every single night, the kind that needs to be written down because one day it could be a great story. They don't all make it, but its a sign that the creative juices are beginning to flow again. I begin to read into songs looking for the connection to my story. I call them story songs and at some point they all get pulled together into a playlist that gets played over and over and over again while I write. I sometimes share the list later on with my readers as a Suggested Listening addition. It's a sign that my subconscious is lingering on the story even if my conscious mind hasn't made it there yet. I get cranky and antsy. I think this is a sign of all that pent up story banging on the walls to get out.
All the signs are there and if I don't hit another major distraction soon I should be getting back on track.
Which I am more than ready for. Somehow not writing makes me feel guilty. I can't explain it in any way that makes sense, but it's like these characters came to me to tell their story and I'm letting them down. Because even though they aren't real, somewhere in the depths of my imagination they are alive.
Have you ever experienced the dreaded writer's block? What was going on in your life at the time? When you broke through the wall, what were your signs?
Hoping to be back soon with something new to say...
